This week has been sponsored by Vicks Kleenex. 
 
I have been sick since Sunday and I owe it to parading around in the vicious torrential rains Chicago was doused with over the weekend.  I am no longer 5 and cannot splish and splash in puddles even when I am wearing my rubber boots and raincoat.  
 
I have been laid up living on oranges and cream of chicken soup for the last 3 days.  What a life… NOT!  My mind cannot take another half hour of ridiculous daytime television.  Judge Joe Brown, Judge Judy, Judge Dick, and Judge Jane are taking over the world.
 
I usually whine and whine when I am sick.  I will whine to anyone who will listen. Mailman? WHINE… Cable Guy? WHINE  I believe Bacci received the brunt of my whining.  He now seems to run from me rather than bathe my face in kisses per the usual.
 
In any event I am feeling 75% back to normal and am fulfilling my duty as a working citizen.  
 
I hope to be 100% by the weekend because I need to find a car.  I have suddenly realized that the ol’ rental car is not a wise investment choice for the long-term.  Don’t get me wrong it has fabulous gas mileage but the sucker is costing me about $700 a month to rent. 

Le FUCKING sigh… My life is even more obnoxious when typed.

My weekend was nothing less than FAB beside the fact I got super sick on Sunday night.  Jen it was not  your meatballs!
 
Sunday was spent with bloggers and wine.  Yes, you heard right, I met bloggers and fantabulous ones at that!  

 
I am no longer a fictional character and my identity has been proven. 
 
Do I get a prize or a badge?
 
I felt like I was going on a blind date.  What would they think of me?  Would they think I was a total farce?  Would I be an outcast?  Can I introduce myself using my “real name” rather than WannaBeRealitySuperstar which come to think of it sounds mother fucking ridiculous.    
 
All of the anxious thoughts quickly disappeared when Jen opened the door.  Painless I tell you.  Painless!
 
Jen does not make an evil “cackle” sound nor does she have a huge witch wart on her nose.
 
She is sweet and cute!
 
It was lovely meeting Jen and Angela whose blogs are two of my favorites and have been since I began blogging on Wordpress and joining 20sb.  I love Angela’s ability to write with emotion and Jen’s ability to blog about EVERYTHING and still sound so damn put together.
 
I also met Dan and Rachel who are both pretty damn interesting in their own ways.  I look forward to adding their blogs to my growing reader.
 
It was a fabulous day.  Honestly.. I never knew a group of seven could converse without the lovely word DRAMA coming into the mix. 
 
The day ended at 8-ish and this is when I started to feel ill.  I had a sneezing fit on my car ride home followed by the warm icky feeling of needing to vomit.  This I did .. right on the side of the road.  I dispelled an alien.
 
I shook the remainder of the way home crying “Mommy”.  This signaled I was in bad shape.
 
I arrived home safe where my Mom immediately thought I was drunk off my ass.  Uhmm… Nope sorry Mom it takes more than 4oz of wine to get me drunk.  Add a zero to the 4 and perhaps then I will start walking a little crooked and begin cursing like a pirate hooker.
 
She then sees my chest has broken out in tiny little welts.  How pretty!  I also have the itchy bastards on the bottom of my hands.  I ignored them because honestly hives are a usual for me when I spend an afternoon outside.
 
I get settled into bed and wake at 2pm wheezing, sneezing, coughing, and all of the other –ing words that occur when you are sick.  Sigh…
 
I awake sick as a dog (can someone please clue me in on just how sick dogs are?) Monday morning and called into work.  I then make an allergist appointment. 
 
The prognosis is good.  I’m not dying.  Phew..  Don’t start singing “Ding Dong the BITCH IS GONE” yet little ones. Put the shovels DOWN!
 
The allergist believes I could be allergic to either the red wine, chocolate, or avocado I indulged in.  She believes I was most likely either sensitive to them and/or had what is called histamine toxicity from the red wine and dark chocolate.
 
I may or may not go through with the food allergen testing.  Probably not.
 
She shot me up with an antihistamine and I felt like a million bucks by 6 pm.

Yesterday was my 2nd (of many) week of immunotherapy.  After receiving my total of 6 shots all from vials labeled cat, dog, mold, grass, mite, etc. 
 
I ask you allergists why must you label the vials with the allergens rather than a color coded system.  I do not appreciate seeing when I am being injected with a small dose of mites.  I would feel much better being injected with a vial of yellow or something like that.
 
I waited the mandatory twenty minutes to make sure I didn’t rock out in an allergic reaction.  I used those twenty minutes to convince myself I deserved a small trip to Anthro and J.Crew to browse.  I had a browsing tooth and gave into my craving.
 
I headed over to Anthro because I lack self-control and purchased the below:

 
 
 
I then headed over to J.Crew because I lack self-control and purchased the below:
 
 

Self-Control? Who needs it?!  Well.. my bank account would appreciate it.

As most know I went to the allergist for my scratch tests two weeks ago.  The scratch test entailed a bajillion possible allergens being scratched onto both of my forearms. A timer was then set for 8-minutes with the nurse watching me as I “cook”.  Damn right I felt like a turkey on Thanksgiving!

I then watched my forearms blowup with a bajillion mosquito bite looking hives.  After about 4-minutes the nurse “oooohed and ahhhhed” while wiping some of the allergens off with a calming cream.
 
After the 8-minutes the doctor came in to grade me.

 
The results were.. “You are allergic to everything with the exception of guinea pigs and oak trees.”
 
Awesome.  I so aced the scratch test.  Send me to the land of guinea pigs and oak trees!
 
THE BAD:  I am allergic to everything
THE GOOD:  There was no need for me to be injected with any allergen with the exception of dust mites because my tests were so evident.  The majority of those receiving allergen testing need a more potent dose of the allergen to receive results.
 
As you would guess I am a prime candidate for Immunotherapy.  I was given some information on the process and some websites to do some research. I was also given a 7-day trial of new medications, Claridex and Rhinocourt. 
 
I made my appointment for a more in-depth testing for a dust mite allergy and was on my way to JCrew and Papyrus.
 
My appointment for the injection of dust mites was yesterday and yes I am allergic but on a scale of 1-5, I only scored a 3 with all of my other allergies scoring medium and high 4’s and cats and horses scoring  low 5’s.  Lucky for me I scored a mild allergy to dogs compared to grass, cats and horses.
 
I discussed my experience with the new medication thus far and I am now on Claridex, Veramyst, and eyedrops.
 
Needless to say I begin Immunotherapy this Monday.  I will be receiving 4 shots in each arm on a weekly basis  for the next 2-years.  The doctor hopes that I will begin seeing results in 9-months.  After the 2-years of Immunotherapy I should be “good” for 5-7 years.
 
It’s a hope seeing my bill at the pharmacy for my new prescriptions was not a pretty sight. 
 
Le Sigh  - I can handle a 20-30 min weekly visit to get poked.  Right?  I can then reward myself with a ((small)) treat from Anthropology, JCrew, or Papyrus which are conveniently located next to the allergist.  Right?

I swear I am allergic to everything including the new puppeh.  This makes for a not so happy K.  I have dealt with my allergies with large doses of Benadryl, daily doses of Allegra, and sprays of Flonase.
 
It is just not cutting it.
 
I am also blessed with numerous sinus infections a year with sinus headaches thrown in between the full blown infections.
 
The netti pot is my best friend.
 
My sinus infections are due to allergies and I only wish they were due to polyps or inflamed adenoids for an easier fix. Maybe not..
 
Up until today I have not visited an allergist and depended on my primary doctor for my treatment and an occasional visit to the ENT specialist for my sinuses but today I have my first appointment with an allergist.
 
I do not like doctors.  My visits to my PD only occur when forced, desperate, or my prescription refills display “NO REFILLS”.
 
I am pretty sure my off the cuff voluntary appointment is due to the havoc my allergies are reeking on my vanity.  I do not look hot in red blotches and bloodshot eyes.  RED is not my color.
 
It helps that the allergist is also located in the mall strategically next to Anthropologie, JCREW, and Ann Taylor.
 
I am glad we got to the bottom of this.  My vanity and addiction to shopping has forced me to the allergist and not my health. 

Take what you want out of it.. It’s the truth.