where I deleted my blog, had a heart attack, and called Bluehost and they fixed it?

ya… I HATED that time, but anywho I am back with a vengeance and only lost my last few posts and I am not going to complain about that.

Formspring ME!

that gets me to post these days, and I am using “these days” loosely; I haven’t blogged in months!  I was quite disturbed when I saw the date of my last post.  Why?  Blogging for me is a way to keep myself sane.  Perhaps this is why I am one emotional fucked up girl these days.  Then again… I doubt it.

It’s my friend DEPRESSION sinking its ugly teeth into my life and BPD cheering him on.

These last few days have been rough.  I am pretty sure the month of January has always been a rough month for me.  All of the rush rush of the holiday season is over and my mind gets back to thinking and over-thinking and analyzing and over-analyzing.

HELLO!  I am happiest when I am busy, thus my mind doesn’t have time to turn evil and backlash at me.

Obviously… blogging is a form of catharsis for me.  I need to hear myself out and read what I write in order to believe it.

Well… was this post a recap of this girls life?  nah… Was it much substance?  nah…  I am not one to just jump the gun and start trusting people with the inside of my mind and life.  Stick around for a bit and I promise I will be coming around here more frequently.  I am just getting my feet wet.  You cant put out on the first date, and trust me this sure and well could be a first date. My last post was dated back in NOVEMBER of 2009!

is brought to you by 2 shots of vodka.  straight up, but of course!

Honestly, I haven’t had the blog bug lately.  No excuses.  I just have been WAY too busy with life and even certain areas of my REAL life have been deprived.

So ya… I love you.

I probably read all of my readers via my Google Reader on the BB.  The thing is I am just too damn busy to comment.  Am I busy or do I have other things occupying my mind.  I wonder.  Lets see… I know Rachel has a new house, holler!  I know Kyla just got back from her HONEYMOON and is still as beautiful as a damn pixie!!  Nora just had the best weekend of her life.  Jen is loving decorating for Halloween and recovering from her recent surgery.  Candidly Beautiful just got home from Miami, lucky biotch.  Lucky beautiful biotch.  Have you seen her recent pics?  DROOL.  Modern Gal’s posting more often than as of lately.  Hope all is well with the new man! Erin’s mood is lifting, yay!  Confessions of a Chicago Girl has a new boi prospect, excccccccciting and looks HAWT in her recent bridesmaid dress!  Oh ya… then the future Mrs. EP!!!! I knew it!

As you can tell… I read you all, just don’t comment like I should.  Tears.

These are just a few blogs I read and follow and love.

PS  Please excuse all mistakes in this blog, as it is brought to you buy the letter V.  V for vodka!

PPS  Follow me on twitter cuz I am MUCH more active over there.

I need to blog more.  I came to this realization after looking through my hundreds of Facebook status messages.  I am a big ball of sap.  I would rather keep that to myself instead of broadcasting it to nosey aunts, overprotective fathers, and 2nd cousins.

yaknow?

I cannot promise that the sappy Facebook messages will come to a screaching halt but I can promise I will be blogging a little bit more.

I keep up this little ol’ space to pick at my brain but to also remember both the good and bad that I encounter.

I feel as if there is so much I must recap on but to be honest I don’t have the energy, as it’s been a rough road to get where I am here in the seventh month of 2009.

So lets just start with today and if I happen to fill in the blanks then so be it and if I dont then I dont.  Im trying to get over my need for perfection and self-deprecation.

I’m laying in my baby sister’s “old” room.  I’ve revamped it into an extra bedroom with all of the little plaques, knicknacks, and books I have collected over the years.  The walls were originally painted purple and lime green.  After tackling the remainder of the house I figured I would keep them just as they were painted by my 15 year old sister.  It works.  She is also over a lot and still feels “at home” which puts a smile on both of our faces.

I’m nursing a wicked sunburn caused from hours and hours on the beach without anything to shield my skin.  I am smart.  Seriously though.  I never thought in a million years I would burn.  I am pretty damn tan and usually only burn once initially in the beginning of the summer.  I am also nursing a hole in the back of my mouth where an adult tooth that had to be extracted last Wednesday.  I cant say I am comfortable but my mouth is healing and my nose is peeling.

Le Sigh…

So I am back… for real this time

Vegas was amazing and eye opening.  Yes. Vegas, the land of strippers, prostitutes, and booze opened my eyes and not my legs.

It was my 3rd trip to Vegas and definitely the most memorable.  I’m a little at loss for words… cantcha tell?

I realized a few things in Vegas.  I realized it was okay to be me, my nose will burn in the Vegas sun no matter how tan I am, there are bloggers out there that are in one word “amazing”, and it kicks ass to be out of my usual realm.

So…. I’m going to leave it at that.  I know what you are saying… lame but the thing is I don’t think any words would give the weekend spent with strangers who felt like BFFs any justice.

You had to be there.

I havent blogged as long as I havent shaved my legs which happens to be quite some time. No worries Vegas chickies, I plan on shaving them just for you!!

For serious…

Seeing I haven’t blogged my head is full of anything and everything but my life has not been that exciting.  More like lack luster.

My 15 year old sister received her driving learning permit last week.  She is now officially my chauffeur.  Its beyond cute seeing her struggle with road rage at such a young age.  She just turned 15 in April.  I will have this broad on the highway by next week and parallel parking by July.  I vow my Mom’s generation will be the last generation in my family that doesn’t drive on highways, over 55 mph, or out of a 5 mile square radius. 

What irks me?  Swine flu now being referred to as H1N1. 

I tweeted I would blog and I did.  Its off to whiten my chompers and pack for Vegas.

All this talk about Miss. Musing being a fraud makes me somewhat angry.  I don’t exactly know how to put it into words.  What she did was wrong, dont get me wrong.  It wasnt only wrong but also sick.  The fact that she met people and continued the lies makes my stomach turn.

Blogging is not life as life is not blogging…

It hurts if a blogger turns on you, but it hurts more when an IRL friend turns on you.

It’s easy to discontinue a blog relationship by hitting unsubcribe, but an IRL friendship is much more complicated to end.

It’s scary to find out a person whos blog you read is a fake, but it hurts more when you find out the man you fell in love with is a fake.

Blogging is just blogging.  You cannot really take it as anything more than that.

Seriously… Bella is the cutest little thing!  I cannot wait until they meet.

around the blogosphere…

Brilliant post written by Tiffany of The Confessions of a Chicago Girl.  The post is about something that should be talked about more openly because its a reality. Internet friendships are tricky and even trickier when the internet relationship blossoms into an IRL friendship. Check it out!

A tech blog that is much more than just a tech blog.  I recently added it to my reader.  So should you.

Have you heard the ever so fabulous Rachel is B2B (back to blogging).  Maybe she realized Tumblr sucks. (snicker, snicker) I am obviously the anti-tumblr.

PQ Nation blog has been in my reader for quite a while.  Its a blog created by one person with that one person having an aspiration to bring amazing writers and photographers to one place which equals good reads!

Angel over at Angelaboration asks the question “What is Love?”  I was on the brink of tears after reading this post.  She is so eloquent and an amazing girl who deserves every ounce of love the Filmmaker gives her.  Team Angela!

As you can see I was in the mood to Link.