Bacci and I would like to wish you all a Happy Easter.  Have I mentioned Bacci hops like a bunny.  It’s odd.  He definitely does not walk like a dog.  He is either running or doing a little hop.

Anyways, today is going to be super busy as most holidays are for children of divorce.  I wont complain I get the best of both worlds on holidays; Italian and Polish food and lots of them both.

Bacci’s outfit says “Snuggle Bunny” but he also has a pair of bunny ears that he will be sporting later today.  How about that turquoise leash and harness?  Ya, I dress my kid sharp. 

And… I know what you’re thinking but Bacci doesn’t give me any problems when I dress him in ridiculous outfits.

If you follow me on Twitter then you know I was having a minor coronary at around 5 pm on Valentine’s Day.  Alright, perhaps a major coronary.  I was pissed, livid, and every other word synomous for the mentioned.

Frappe promised he would leave work at 3 pm, in order to make our reservation at Mideval Times for 7pm.  He did indeed leave work at 2:15 pm.

I receive a call from him at around 4 pm.  They were having an issue at work and he had to go back.  Reason # 3242343 why dating a guy who doesn’t have a regular 9-5 sucks. The only possible way we would make our reservations would be if we met at Mideval Times.

Swoon.  How romantic.  Driving myself to my Valentine’s dinner.

After a 45 min drive, 2 Ativan, a huge balloon, the biggest boquet of flowers I have ever seen and been given, and a singing card; all was forgotten.

Medieval Times was everything I had dreamed of and then some.  Seriously.  Well, I am not that serious.  Have I told you that me wanting to go to Midieval Times on Valentine’s Day, was in the beginning, just a joke? 

It was.  I have always wanted to go there though.  I feel like I was robbed of the castle during my childhood.  This is the truth.

The evening began with a Bacardi and Coke for me and a Gin and Tonic for him. I must say I loved the drink setup at the castle.  I expected a little stand with a sign for those cheap ass Mai Tais you get at Wrigley.  You know ‘em.  They come in the tiny tiny yellow plastic cups and it takes about 10 and the Chicago sun to get you somewhat tipsy!

Being the gentleman that he was and the fact that he was forced to take me to Medieval Times for our first Valentine’s Day, he splurged for the tip-top package which included front seats, flags, picture, personalized scripture type thingy, champagne, souvenir champagne flutes, and a fake blinking rose. 

The show was fine.  I wasn’t all that excited but I cheered on the red knight with all of my might.  We also befriended the couple next to us who had a very sweet story about how they were rekindling their high school romance after 23 years!  They were engaged the night before.

The sweetest part of the show was him leaving in the middle of the show and surprising me from behind with a sparkly pink princess hat.  The hat we couldn’t buy before the show because we were already running late.

I’m 27 and not 12.  I promise.

The pink princess hat beat out a knight throwing me a rose.  It was perfect and goes down in my book as one of the most thoughtful sweet things a man has ever done for me.

The food was amazing. I am not kidding, don’t laugh. I freaked when they put a whole chicken on my plate.  I do not do well with carcasses.  He immediately came to the rescue and had our waiter dispose of the chicken and bring me out a vegi entree which was YUMMO!  Oh my gawd.  I would go back solely for the food which entailed a rice filled portobello mushroom, grilled vegtable skewer, pita chips, and hummus.

After the show I became emotional.  What is with me?  I was all emotional about how much he thought about me.  It was nice having someone remember a card on Valentine’s Day and doing small things to pull my heart strings.  It was and is something I am not used to.

/SAPPY HAPPY POST

Alright, I lied.

Today is Valentine’s Day.  In case you haven’t heard.  Thus far today I have completed a 1 hour personal training session, made 3 dozen Ghirardelli kiss shortbread cookies, and showered.

I’m already tired.  Yawn.

Where am I going with this Valentine post of mine?  I have no clue.

Let’s take a look at last Valentine’s Day.  I was newly single, still heartbroken but healing quickly, and fat.  Ha.  I received 3 bouquets of flowers from 3 different guys.  These men no longer talk to me.  Ha.  I lost 3 guys in my life in a year!  Does ExAss really count though?

Anywho…

This Valentine’s Day I have spent time with Bacci and took tons of pictures of him in his red polo with his Valentine’s Day basket complete with 2 toys and Lil’ Beggin Strips.  We all know Bacci only receives Beggin Strips on holidays. 

Bacci is the only guy I need.

Later this evening I will be at Medieval Times with Frappe, per my request.  If I am lucky he will fulfill my request for a single fake rose adorned with glitter purchases at a gas station.  We will then head over to the Melting Pot because he doesn’t feel Medieval Times is “romantic” enough. 

I am off to package my cookies for my 2 bestest and Frappe.

Let’s hope a knight tosses me a rose!

I thought a lot before I really “wrote” this post.

Am I going to come across as a snotty bitch that just wants to show off her loot?

Christmas for me wasn’t as bad as my previous blogs may have projected. I had an amazing Christmas full of liquor and gifts! Oh yes, family, friends and food also.

I am somewhat ashamed to admit that this was my 1^st Christmas to realize how fortunate I was to have a Christmas such as I did when there are children that do not receive A present from “Santa” underneath the tree, that is, if they are fortunate enough to have a tree glimmering in their living room, that is, if they are lucky enough to have a living room.

My brother and I hustled and bustled our asses, with L in tow of course, to my Father’s house to open gifts with my immediate family which include my Father, his wife, and my 2 youngest sisters. We do this before my Aunt’s house where Christmas Eve is held and every year we are late for my Aunt’s. This did not change for Christmas of 2008.

I demanded martinis, the girls ushered me around the 12 ft Christmas tree pointing out their favorite ornaments, and tons of pictures were taken of the girls and Bacci. I think he might have replaced me and my Father’s dog, Flip the Cavalier King Charles Spaniel seein in the background of this pic.

We exchanged gifts.

I half drunkenly walked out of my Father’s house with a Microsoft optical mini mouse, laptop, I-pod, and 4 in 1 printer.

Christmas Eve at my Aunt’s house was wholesome. I stole L’s glass of Pinot Grigio at the dinner table, after downing my 1^st glass and didn’t have much time to eat besides my Aunt’s delicious tortellini soup. I had a mission - Christmas cookies and more alcohol.

The rest is full of Christmas carols, family pictures, and from what I hear me taking shots with my cousin’s in the back room because shots of vodka are not really part of my family’s tradition but I am pretty sure my cousin’s and I are changing that real quick. It’s a good thing I am the eldest and such a fantastic role model.

The Christmas carols and family pictures really didn’t occur but I didn’t want to see like that big of a floozy. I then remembered you all know the truth.

I blacked out on Christmas Eve. Silly enough I woke up with my pants on but comfy socks I did not recognize.

I woke up the following morning with get this… my pants on and comfy socks I didn’t recognize. I later found a new leather laptop bag and a couple gift cards spewed around in my purse. All gifts I must have gathered at my Aunt’s house. This is also when I found out my car was stuck in my Father’s driveway because it wouldn’t start.

I was woken up by my 14 year old sister at 8 am the next morning because we all know she couldn’t wait to open up her gifts and my 9 year old brother wasn’t that far behind her.

The gift of the morning was the Family Wii with oodles and oodles of games and accessories. My step dad received an electric guitar. He has never played guitar. Can you say crisis?

I received a ton. See below.

Including the J.Crew Sherpa Fleece I had my eyes on, this coolio sinus pack because we all know my sinuses hate me, and a digital picture frame which is not pictured!  My Mom also bought L and Jax the slippers pictured.  They are so comfy.  We will definitely be rocking them out while drunk back at the hotel on the 1st day of 2009!

My Mom loves buying pajamas.  Similar to E’s mother’s affection for undergarments.

I got the JCrew Sherpa fleece I had my eye on, a neato cold/hot/aromatherapy for my whacked sinuses, and the other goodies in the pic.

My Mom obviously wants my ass at the gym in 2009. 

I am not going to lie. I spent the majority of Christmas Day in my bedroom because I was dehydrated and hung-over.

I made it to dinner which was served at around 6ish. The hangover was finally lifting at this point. Yes, it was that bad. I gorged and bonded with family over Mom’s lasagna.

This completes K’s Christmas recap.

“Santa” was good to me this year. See below.

I thanked “Santa” by chewing on Mommy’s tasty $175 Cole Haans that she planned on wearing out on NYE. My little way of attempting to keep her away from the bottle. See below.

Merry Christmas Mommy!

Notes from Mommy -I was very hesitant to feed Bacci the Beggin Strips but I figured it was Chritmas.  If I can binge on my many vices then so can he.  I kid you not, he acted like the dog in the commercials.  Beggin Strips are crack.  He will be shunning the organic treats in no time. 

Also, Pet Head by Bed Head is awesome and I am not saying that because of its cute packaging or the fact that I am a pretentious shampooer.  I used it today and Bacci loved it and did not roll around on the carpet as much itching like a crack fiend.

I turned twenty-seven over the weekend.  Actually, today because I am dating this post back to my birthday, December 20th.  Archive reasons!

Twenty-Seven random things that occurred on December 20, 2008:

1.      I burned 400 calories on the elliptical

2.      I bought myself a tanning package to attempt to darken my “Casper” looking self.  I thought I was done with the bronze winter look but I’m not. 

3.      DYE job!  My hair is back to its dark chestnut brown.  I also think I found a new stylist.  Now only if she doesn’t run away like the other 2 potential stylists I have found in 2008.

4.      Chicago was blessed with RIDICULOUS weather.  The average temp for the day was 7.6 degrees and the snow did not stop falling.

5.      My Mom made me 27 cupcakes all topped with homemade white icing and pink sprinkles!

6.      Bacci helped me blow out my candles.

7.      My besties and I spent an hour driving around Lincoln Park in a snowstorm trying to find parking for our “original” destination of Vida Lounge.  Vida Lounge get VALET!

8.      Neither Jax nor I freaked out but rather played it “cool”.  We are very impatient people.  We immediately high five each other after we decided to get back onto 90-94 and change up the destination.

9.      Needless to say we hightailed it to Cafe Iberico after an hour of no luck in the parking spot department.

10.  I received a pair of hot gold Guess shoes from my bestie L. See! See!  Also. pictured is my Lola Martini Glass “Its 5′oclock Somewhere” that I got from Jax.

11.  Jax also armed me with what she calls “Single Girl Clutch” and L adorned me with a Givenchy Face on the Go Kit.  They look awesome but ..

12.  Look at how effing fun they are opened!

13.  Us 3 girls breezed through 2 full pitchers of Sangria in record time.

14.  We ordered 6 tappas and had lots of leftovers.

15.  My besties suprised me with an orgasm in my mouth. Hello… go right now and try Cafe Iberico’s BIZCOCHO BORRACHO! 

16.  We spent 20 minutes deciding if our next destination would be Moda or Manor.   We eventually decided on Moda.

17.  The first round of drinks consisted of 3 Bacardi Diets and 3 lemondrop shots.  That’s how we do!

18.  A guy “accidentally” spilled L’s drink and made it up to us by purchasing our next 2 rounds of drinks.

19.  We danced a lot.  Per the usual.

20.  We burrowed between 2 HUGE bouncers sheltering us from the violent Chicago winds as we waited for valet to bring around the car.

21.  We decided to go to an after-hours bar near our side of town.

22.  We lasted 5 minutes until we realized it was much too lame and demanded our $15 total in cover back.

23.  Jax got stuck in a snow bank in front of my house.

24.  L attempted to “unstuck” Jax’s car.

25.  My baby brother came to the rescue

26.  I fell asleep without pants.

27.  Definitely one of the best birthdays in my 27 years!

 Waking up on my 27th birthday I wasnt in the best of moods.  I was celebrating without “him” and I wouldnt be cuddled up ending my birthday with him and my fingers, ears, or neck adorned with diamonds.

I wasnt okay with it then but as my birthday drawed to a close I realized the diamonds I had as friends and family were all that mattered.

NYE is right around the corner.  So much to do before then.  If it matters, I will be spending it at a “dress to impress” party at Navy Pier.

Decide on an outfit - HELP!
Dye hair
Nails/Pedi
FAKE airbrush tan
Shoes
Hairstyle

I have found 2 possible outfits for the night and I would like you to help dress me.

Option Number 1 - Satin Slut:

I know its a bad picture but its an adorable satin dress which I will need to get tailored to a more flattering length of right above my knees.  I am not a dress girl.  My bestest will both be donning dresses.  I dont want to feel left out but I dont want to feel like a tub of lard either.  I hate my belly but am hoping that this dress flatters my 36C’s and camouflages my belly full of vodka.  Thoughts?
Option Number 2 - Velvet Vixen:

Sexy suit?  I hope so.  I am just hoping I get hella more cleavage than the model.  I have yet to try this number on yet because I just ordered it the other day but it should be arriving any day.  I hope.

Thoughts? 

Next item on agenda… shoes!

As I discussed in an earlier post… I need Halloween ideas.  I am down to two costumes which I have put below.  Which do you like?  Pros and Cons of them?  I need your advice.  Do I go geisha or fairy for Halloween 2008?

The topic of Halloween came up at coffee with my bestest last night.  I’m usually not giddy giddy about Halloween but these two fools, fools being L and Jax are like children fighting over who bobs for apples first.  I mean we don’t need a holiday like Halloween to get dressed like prostitutes and drink vodka like water that’s what the weekend is for!
 
L is all up and up about wanting to wear a short black wig and Jax just wants an IV of vodka running through a vein.
 
What can I say my friends are easy to please.
 
In past years, one of our bestest who is not much of a bestest anymore had a Halloween party but now his live in girlfriend AKA Ginger holds his balls in her purse.  I doubt he will be having one this year and if he does we will not be invited.  This is the friend who’s girlfriend’s sister gave L a bruiser.
 
Bitch.
 
I may be forced to hit up the club scene for Halloween which frightens me literally and figuratively.  After the Memorial Day stunt I pulled which landed me in an out of state jail, I have vowed to lay low on all holidays and enjoy acting like an immature asshole in front of my bestest within a 5 mile radius from my bed.
 
What will I be?
 
I was a Greek Goddess last year.  SNOOZE.
 
I was a working box of Franzia the year before.  Don’t judge.  I was the hottest box of Franzia and my spout was located right near my vajayjay.
 
I was proof Franzia will forever be capital “C” Classy!
 
This year?  Jax is trying to persuade us to be a band of pirate hookers but L isnt having it.
 
L didn’t stop at Halloween…
 
Black Wednesday’s plans were discussed.
 
Then came…
 
NEW YEARS EVE which everyone has decided to spend downtown. 
 
This means…
 
I probably need a date.
 
I need a date. 
 
I am not sure I like the sound of that.
 

So much has happened this weekend including but not limited to; meeting a beautiful man and then disappearing like Cinderella without leaving a glass slipper or more appropriately my Jessica Simpson stiletto, realizing someone in my life is a complete jackass and having enough self-esteem to say “fuck him”, realizing I am happy for one of my guy friends of 2343279 years and accepting his girlfriend, hating the guy friend mentioned less than 4-hours later because he let his girlfriend’s sister punch L square in the cheek bone for no reason at all, and….. how was your Memorial Day weekend?

I don’t really want to bore you with the lengthy details of the weekend but I am sure a post here and there will evolve regarding the above events.  Maybe a post a day explaining the weekend events.  Blog readers please tell me if I bore you with the details - cuz that’s not what I am aiming for.  I am all about constructed criticism and improving myself as a whole.