I think I have mentioned before that my Mom is a huge fan of purchasing socks, underwear, and pajamas for me.

Her most recent purchases included martini socks and hot pink fleece adult footed pajamas adorned in skulls. Armani loves when I rock the pajamas.

She also likes to purchase random shit for me assuming I need or want it.

I figured I would share some of her most recent purchases.

A Cafe Latte maker. I am unsure what this little gadget does. The box says something about adding ice cream and coffee?

Life is already complicated enough. I do not need an additional gadget to feed my caffeine addiction, or do I?

Air Mattresses. I was a little confuzzled with this purchases, as I have a click-bed in the extra bedroom for overnight visitors which we rarely have. Our overnight visitors consist of my younger brother’s friends who are too intoxicated to drive home. Its rare that they even make it to the couch in the living room. They usually just fall asleep on the kitchen floor or on a chaise in the backyard with a beer in their hand. I questioned the reason for this purchases. She figured we could use them for the pool. Are you serious? We have a 12×18 pool and

A single CD of Britney Spears “Hit me baby one more time” What? When I asked why she bought this, she responded “Look how young she is!” CONVERSATION ENDED.

A small plaque that says “Do not trust a man that doesn’t drink”. I am thinking she just liked this and couldn’t have it at her house because my stepdad doesn’t drink. This is what I figure, who knows if that is
indeed the case.

Bulk sized containers of Jelly Beans, Jolly Ranchers and Pretzels. I am not complaining. I will take them.

After a recent trip to Armani’s Mom’s house we came home with a few random items and a few random items that were sneakily snuck into our bag before we left. I quickly learned my Mom isn’t the only mother who likes to give random nonsense. We have a new CD/radio alarm clock, with dual alarms. We wake up to a Santana song played by
a Hawaiian coverband.

Can you ever leave your parent’s house without random nonsense and leftover food?

Formspring ME!

Its just one of those days. Twitter is full of tweets about napping and spending the day in bed. Bacci hasn’t even been too enthused to leave the comfort of bed.

How are you spending this Saturday?

What is this pic you ask?  

Its a crane machine where the object is to catch a live lobster.  Its $2 a shot and I am pretty sure Armani wasted about $20 and did not win a live lobster.  If you do win a lobster the restaurant cooks it up for you.

Strange? Odd? Has anyone else seen one of these?

oh hey… its me K.

I have been keeping my unemployed ass pretty busy becoming quite the domestic diva.  Alright… attempting to be quite the domestic diva.

The last couple of weeks have been interesting.  I may or may not have…

drank so much I pissed the bed with ARMANI in it

almost burned the house down while cooking Fillet Mignon in a frying pan

flopped cooking corned beef in a fucking crockpot

a puppy who finally has learned PAW!

googled how to make grilled cheese

took 4 pregnancy tests (no, im not pregnant PHEW!)

bought Boom Ball off of Amazon.com and lost the balls it came with in less than 2 days

played Guitar Hero for my FIRST time ever and sucked

a boyfriend who really really wants a goped

went gokarting in a skirt

totally been slacking with going to the place that keeps me from turning into an oompah loompah

tanned in WEEKS because of this

spent many many hours working hard on my farm… on facebook

bought adorable dixie cups

So as you can see I may or may not have been pretty busy lately.  You be the judge!

I know callouts should be call outs but my mind likes it better as-is. tay?  So lets all pretend for the remainder of this blog that there is such a word.  tay?  I’m sick and whiney.  Let me have my way.  Really is shoutout even a word?  Whatev.

CALLOUTS!

The 1st callout is the oh so legendary asinine Frappe.  Oh yes.  More on that in a future blog post because I am going to do exactly what I said I would CALL HIM OUT.  I am debating if I should call him out to the extent that it will be googleable.  Thoughts?  To be honest he is lucky I am not going to the news…

I’m going to use this ol’ blog to call myself out on the fact that over the past month I have not been as active as I should have been in regards to gaining unemployment.  I need to get serious.  I’m manning up and getting serious starting… tomorrow.

Now on to the shoutouts, HOLLER!

Aussie hair products. Seriously.  I have decided to cut costs seeing I am still unemployed and one of the places I am cutting costs is my hair products.  I decided to say goodbye to Redken and hello to a high school favorite, Aussie.  Dude, they smell delish and work.  Why did I ever get all fancy and switch to Redken?

Cooking.  I am learning to love it and would like to thank Erin from State I am In for 2 of my most recent recipe attempts; Goat Cheese Fettuccine and Gingerbread Pancakes.

Qtips.  What can I say? I love ‘em and cant imagine life without ‘em.

I stare at this space with empty thoughts…

My life is up in the air at the moment.  I am currently sleeping on solely my mattress placed on my bedroom floor. Why?  I need a new bedroom set.  I decided to play “Handy fucking Andy” a couple of weeks ago and paint my room and pull out the carpet.  Ya… I’m not very handy and growing bored of my lack of furniture and decor.

I meet with a recruiter on Monday.  Here is hoping Chicago weather works with me and I dont have to make the trek downtown in the rain, 90 degree heat and humidity, or even snow by the way things are going.  I am not pleased with you Chicago weather.

I miss Vegas.  I miss not being frowned upon when drinking before noon.  I miss my new friends.  I miss the hotel sheets. I miss the lights.  I miss being carefree.

I’m sexually deprived.  I haven’t had GOOD sex in years. I need some.  I need some bad.  The thing is … I have a prospect.  A prospect who would probably be amazing in bed.

I leave you on that note…

See that glowing ring above my head?  I’m blessed and have been the last couple of weeks.

Nah… Don’t be thinking I actually scored a job or a real man.  That hasn’t happened but I am a girl who smiles at the small things.

Let me explain what has kept the light above my head glowing and my face grinning with a smile from ear to ear.

Its all just just random acts of kindness.

Last weekend was spent in Downtown Naperville. I packed myself up and decided to fondle and peruse items in the small boutiques located in the unique area.  I did a little more than peruse, I bought a lot.  Bacci also scored some cute items from Two Bostons.

The highlight was not the cupcakes I bought at Sugar Monkey, because they were not good. I never thought a cupcake could taste bad but was proved otherwise. I purchased 3 different flavors and sliced a piece off of each of them when I arrived at home.  They tasted of flour. I felt like bread was rising in my mouth as the strong taste of flour mixed with my saliva.

Anyways… A few nice things that were out of the ordinary occurred on my afternoon adventure.  The first thing occurred in the parking lot of the Hallmark on Route 59 in Naperville.  A car almost hit me but we waved and went our separate directions. I didn’t even think it was the other guy’s fault because HELLO, I am the worlds worst driver. I didn’t think more than 5 seconds about the fatal crash (note… sarcasm) and hopped out of my car to peruse Hallmark. I must have been in Halmark for about 10 minutes and I come back out to my car and a man.  The man was the guy who almost hit me.  He simply wanted to apologize.

This shit doesn’t happy in Chicago…

Further down Route 59 I had stopped at BP for gas because I was on E and had a 45 minute car ride back to my humble abode.  The gas pump kept declining my debit card.  I had no idea for why and simply decided to try it as a debit inside the store.  I grabbed a Chicken Cesar wrap because I was famished, Orbitz Sangria Gum, and 2 SF Red Bulls.  My card was declined.  It then clicked that I had put a debit limit of $300 a day after the whole Frappe fiasco.  I had about $15 in cash so I told the cashier to just put $15 in gas and take off my other items.  The young gentleman behind me said, “No reason for that. Just throw that stuff on my bill.” I thanked him graciously and unfortunately did not get his phone number.

That was last weekend….

My luck continued to this weekend where I had misplaced my phone while out shopping.  It could have been lost in Old Navy, World Market, Nordstrom Rack, or Barnes and Noble.  I didn’t realize I had lost my phone until I arrived at my Dad’s house.  I quickly google the numbers of the stores it could have been at all while hoping someone had turned it in.  The 1st store I called was Barnes and Noble and the man told me they had it locked up in front for me.

Seriously… The world would be a much kinder place if everyone did a good deed here and there or went a little out of their way for someone.