is brought to you by 2 shots of vodka.  straight up, but of course!

Honestly, I haven’t had the blog bug lately.  No excuses.  I just have been WAY too busy with life and even certain areas of my REAL life have been deprived.

So ya… I love you.

I probably read all of my readers via my Google Reader on the BB.  The thing is I am just too damn busy to comment.  Am I busy or do I have other things occupying my mind.  I wonder.  Lets see… I know Rachel has a new house, holler!  I know Kyla just got back from her HONEYMOON and is still as beautiful as a damn pixie!!  Nora just had the best weekend of her life.  Jen is loving decorating for Halloween and recovering from her recent surgery.  Candidly Beautiful just got home from Miami, lucky biotch.  Lucky beautiful biotch.  Have you seen her recent pics?  DROOL.  Modern Gal’s posting more often than as of lately.  Hope all is well with the new man! Erin’s mood is lifting, yay!  Confessions of a Chicago Girl has a new boi prospect, excccccccciting and looks HAWT in her recent bridesmaid dress!  Oh ya… then the future Mrs. EP!!!! I knew it!

As you can tell… I read you all, just don’t comment like I should.  Tears.

These are just a few blogs I read and follow and love.

PS  Please excuse all mistakes in this blog, as it is brought to you buy the letter V.  V for vodka!

PPS  Follow me on twitter cuz I am MUCH more active over there.

oh hey… its me K.

I have been keeping my unemployed ass pretty busy becoming quite the domestic diva.  Alright… attempting to be quite the domestic diva.

The last couple of weeks have been interesting.  I may or may not have…

drank so much I pissed the bed with ARMANI in it

almost burned the house down while cooking Fillet Mignon in a frying pan

flopped cooking corned beef in a fucking crockpot

a puppy who finally has learned PAW!

googled how to make grilled cheese

took 4 pregnancy tests (no, im not pregnant PHEW!)

bought Boom Ball off of Amazon.com and lost the balls it came with in less than 2 days

played Guitar Hero for my FIRST time ever and sucked

a boyfriend who really really wants a goped

went gokarting in a skirt

totally been slacking with going to the place that keeps me from turning into an oompah loompah

tanned in WEEKS because of this

spent many many hours working hard on my farm… on facebook

bought adorable dixie cups

So as you can see I may or may not have been pretty busy lately.  You be the judge!

Double shot of Raspberry Svedka

Slice of Lime

Diet Tonic Water

Ice

DRINK BITCHEZ!

That whole spiel? It went out the window hours after I hit “publish”.

I plug my ears when my bitch personal trainer, who I haven’t seen in over a month, tells me I will never lose the belly fat if I keep binge drinking.

LYING BITCH!

After looking at a horrific picture of myself taken at Bacci’s birthday this past Sunday I am beginning to think its the truth.  The picture would make anyone turn into a chain smoking, celery eating, coke snorting whore but I have somemorals and self-respect. I figured it was time to search the webs for an even lower sugar/carb/calorie drink.

I came across the Skinny Bitch and quickly concocted a plan.  I am going to attempt to cease drinking for a month.  This is nothing more than an attempt because I do have a bottle of raspberry vodka sitting on my dresser and Easter is Sunday.  NO promises.  I’m not going to go skimming through archives to find the posts where I weep about my life without booze because they are not my most interesting posts but I have quit drinking for a month and I am not going to lie it sucked.

Anyhow, when I return to the binge drinking beast that I am I will be ordering Skinny Bitches all night long and attempt to not order a Grey Goose and Red Bull as the night goes on.  No, this does not mean I am going to join the coke whore piling into the bathroom stalls or in the corner booths doing coke from their acrylic fingernails.

The web also tells me that Absolute has the least sugar of any vodka.  Is this true?

Note:  Chicago can we please coin that drink “skinny bitch”? I would love to be able to slur “gimme a skinny motherfucking bitch” rather than Absolute, Diet, Lime, make it snappy!  While I am requesting things would you please make Diet Red Bull more available? Ya know, in case I slip up later in the night because I am getting old.

P.S. I don’t think my plan will work.  If you know me at all you will know its all about me testing myself.