I know what you’re saying, I was never gone.  WRONG!  My 27 days of sobriety end TODAY. 
 
Can I get a woot woot?
 
I survived with one slipup of a Bacardi and Diet at my work event.  How could I not slip when one of our 84 year old clients was slamming Goose & Tonics like it was her job!  I even passed on the merlot at dinner.  No worries she had no problem slamming ¾ of the bottle herself.
 
Therefore, my other half is back beginning right now.. well once I get a drink and a dance floor!  
 
You know her the crazy, out of control, outlandish, dramatic, shot slamming, pole dancing, never comes home without losing a belonging fool!
 
She is back and although this stint of sobriety from all things alcohol and club related was interesting and eye opening* I need to be let loose.
 
This weekend shall be interesting.  I will be drinking with the best of them in celebration of my brother’s 24th birthday on Friday.  You can find be at Crobar & Soundbar.  I will be the gal acting like she has been caged for 27-days.  Most likely dancing on anything elevated with a vodka tonic in hand.
 
The remainder of my weekend is full of family parties where I will not hold back and drink all things containing alcohol.  No kiddie cocktails for this bitch.  I will be playing drunk pin the tail on the donkey.
 
Although my stint of sobriety from all things alcohol and club related officially ends on Friday, I will be trying my best to lay low seeing I need to focus on moving and such.
 
In conclusion, bring on the vodka, sambuca, and margaritas.  I shall do nothing in moderation this weekend.
 
*Post to come – Things that kept K busy while on hiatus!

See you on the flip side bitches!
 

I don’t regularly wear underwear.  Okay. I said it.  Those who have a problem can stop reading because this blogger is a non-underwear wearer.
 
I haven’t regularly worn underwear for the past two years.  Why?  I’m not sure.  I think it’s a “comfortablity” issue.  I’m much more comfortable sans the undies.
 
I stopped wearing undies once ExAss and I got freaky in the sheets.  Perhaps this was the reason for my sudden halt in underwear donning. I figured they would come off eventually and saved a step in the let’s see how clumsy a man is when undressing a woman ordeal.  It was also much easier to not have to match my undies and bras. 
 
However, I did don lacey thongs and boys shorts when the occasion arose. Ahem..
 
Perhaps it’s the convenience issue.  I save about 10 seconds in the morning because I do not need to pick out a suitable pair of panties (Hello.. VPL are not the rage) and putting on my panties.  Hey now.. don’t laugh.  I have put on panties inside out and backward.
 
Halt the use of the word “panties”.  I hate that word.  Maybe that’s why I don’t wear them?
 
Although I don’t regularly sport underwear there are a few circumstances when I do, such as doctor’s appointments.  I guess I fear they will ask me to drop my pants and say “Yikes.. you’re not wearing undies!!” or something else which could lead me into a mortifying situation.
 
I also wear undies when swimsuit shopping which doesn’t happen often because swimsuit shopping is evil.  This is just due to the hygienic issue.
 
I don’t go Spears and not slip on undies when wearing a skirt.  I usually wear a pair of boy shorts or a barely there thong.  I will admit there are a few times I went commando and didn’t realize so.  I was gracious and kept my hoohah hidden.
 
Just something to keep my goods out of the public eye.
 
I do plan on going back to donning the undies when I begin dating in a serious manner which may never come!  I figure undies are another barrier from men’s touchy feely hands and I don’t want to be judged for my sometimes thought of as “freakish” non-underwear donning behavior.  I also believe undies are sexy and I am a tease therefore we go hand in hand against the opposite sex.
 
Where did this undie post come from you ask?
 
I had the allergist appointment Monday which meant Monday morning I had to remember to throw on a pair of the undergarment that I am not so fond of and I am not talking about pantyhose.  How did I remember?  The post-it on my television..duh.  Anyways, I opened up my underwear drawers and decided on a pair.  Yes, I have two underwear drawers.  I have a lot of undies for a chick who doesn’t wear them 99.9% of the time.
 
I might not like to wear them but I like to buy them!  Then again what don’t I like buying?  I swear I get a high from buying tampons and deodorant.
 
I settled for a turquoise and white checkered cotton bikini with thick lace bands on the sides. It’s from the VS Pink line and according to the price tag cost me $7.50 when purchased.
 
Hmm.. do the parts of a pair of underwear have names?  Like.. the thick lace bands that lay on my hips what would they be called?  
 
I must say my full day of underwear wearing wasn’t that bad.  I possibly may consider sporting a cute pair of underwear more often.
 
Alright.. I many have divulged TMI but that’s me and due to my TMI post I will be the love of many search engines and receive many disturbing comments.
 
Give me the goods on your underwear habits and mishaps!  I know you have them.

From:  Head of HR
To:  All female employees
Subject:  We will TRY something
 
Since tomorrow is jeans day and it’s summer, (and no, this is not a joke so make sure you’re sitting) I will permit sandals. HOWEVER, not any sandal and there are rules. Here is my definition of an appropriate sandal for the office:

Absolutely NO Flip flops or anything that resembles a flip flop

No strappy/sexy type looking sandal that exposes a good portion of your foot

Your toes must look nice (yes, polished with a standard color; this means no black or wild toenail polish color or designs); no fungus, no dried skin or callused toes showing so get your buffers out tonight!

Nylons are not necessary but no flip flopping sounds when you walk - Also, nylons are strongly encouraged when wearing “peep toe” shoes on all days besides those which are designated “casual”

The sandal must have a strap around the ankle

Your toes may be showing but must be covered starting at just above the bottom of your big toe

Consider this a test and we’ll see going forward what other items I forgot to mention.
 
Now tell me you would be able to refrain from laughing your ass off if you received this email in your inbox.  Then men were not given the option of sandals as the email was only sent to FEMALE employees.  Sexist much?

Needless to say I didnt wear “sandals” because I think the sandal they are referring to would look similar to the below.  I settled on wearing a pair of peep toes with no nylons that was a treat in itself!

why I should start checking my voicemail on a regular basis and not just when my reader is at 0 and I have already groomed my imaginary monkey.
 
“I have two tickets to Sunday’s Cubs Sox game and they are all yours if you call me before Sunday at noon.”
 
This voicemail was left by my boss and had a timestamp of Saturday 9am.  I received a notification but just ignored it per the usual and checked it while in rush hour traffic this morning.
 
Ya.. I missed out on tickets to Sunday’s game.  You know Sunday’s game where the Cubs swept the Sox?
 
I could now promise to check my voicemail religiously but we all know that won’t happen.
 
The rest of my voicemail box were messages from my FATHER.  We have such a wonderful relationship and he leaves such delightful messages.  It’s a wonder why I fear my voicemail like the plague.

Voicemail can we become friends?

Currently:
 
4 Excedrin + 1 Ativan +  1 Clarinex + 1 Lexapro = very loopy K
 
If I was to add 1 Goose & Tonic to the mix we would have:
 
4 Excedrin + 1 Ativan +  1 Clarinex + 1 Lexapro + 1 Goose & Tonic = very drunk loopy K
 
What happens if we subtract the 4 Excedrin and add numerous Goose & Tonics to the mix?
 
4 Excedrin + 1 Ativan +  1 Clarinex + 1 Lexapro + oodles of Goose & Tonics = ?
 
I am unsure but we will find out the answer to this mathematical equation on Friday.
 
My hiatus from all things alcohol is definitely going to affect my tolerance Friday night along with the new allergy meds.  

THE CUBS ARE GONNA WIN TODAY!

Before I speak of the beloved Cubs..

Spain beat my lovely World Cup champion Italians yesterday.  BOO HOO.  It was also a very dull 120 minutes of soccer but with lots of eye candy.

I love italian men who sweat beads of gold.. sigh.

I must say Italy’s game and tactics were not the World Cup team game and tactics we all saw just two summers ago.  Im not sure whos they were.  They were not the positive, forward-looking soccer players who were robbed of the Cup in South Korea and the one that won in Germany.

Buffon was simplay amazing and will go down as one of the best goalkeepers in soccer.

Sigh..  love them so much besides the fact I am 1/2 Italian and think all of them are hot as hell.

On to the CUBBIES!

One of the best things about Chicago, in my opinion, is Wrigley Field baseball which entails the CUBS! 

The Cubs play the White Sox six times in the next ten days. 

Phew.. thats a lot of animosity to be running through Chicago.

Friday’s game was quite monumental seeing it was the first time they have met while both being in first place since yikes 2003 yikes.  If youre a Chicagoan or a baseball fan you know what happened to the Cubs in 2003.  I prefer to not recollect.

Anyways.. The Cubs won game 1 due to Ramirez’s second home in the 9th.  I have always loved Aramis.

Saturday’s game proved why the Cubs have the best record in the majors.  I listened to the game while out tanning and I wasnt on the edge of my chaise.. not once.  Cubs win 11 to 7.

Last nights game - One word:  SWEEP (get out the brooms!).  My brother and L were at the game, unfortunately I was not but I was quite pleased as I munched on unsalted pretzels and watched the Cubs sweet the Sox.

Today is June 23rd, 37 days since that loss to the Pirates. The Cubs are 14-0 during that time, with win # 14 coming at the hands of the White Sox. The Cubs swept the Sox for the second straight series, and have now won 9 out of the last 10 games against the Sox. The Cubs now have a 4.5 game lead over the Cardinals, the biggest lead the Cubs have had in the division so far this season.

FUCK YES!

P.S.  Here is an interesting article I found in regards to the White Sox vs. Cubs rivalry.  Enjoy!

I swear I am allergic to everything including the new puppeh.  This makes for a not so happy K.  I have dealt with my allergies with large doses of Benadryl, daily doses of Allegra, and sprays of Flonase.
 
It is just not cutting it.
 
I am also blessed with numerous sinus infections a year with sinus headaches thrown in between the full blown infections.
 
The netti pot is my best friend.
 
My sinus infections are due to allergies and I only wish they were due to polyps or inflamed adenoids for an easier fix. Maybe not..
 
Up until today I have not visited an allergist and depended on my primary doctor for my treatment and an occasional visit to the ENT specialist for my sinuses but today I have my first appointment with an allergist.
 
I do not like doctors.  My visits to my PD only occur when forced, desperate, or my prescription refills display “NO REFILLS”.
 
I am pretty sure my off the cuff voluntary appointment is due to the havoc my allergies are reeking on my vanity.  I do not look hot in red blotches and bloodshot eyes.  RED is not my color.
 
It helps that the allergist is also located in the mall strategically next to Anthropologie, JCREW, and Ann Taylor.
 
I am glad we got to the bottom of this.  My vanity and addiction to shopping has forced me to the allergist and not my health. 

Take what you want out of it.. It’s the truth.

Bacci

Italian for KISSES

April 20, 2008

Chihuahua

Here are a few, ok quite a few pics of our first weekend together!

Thanks to all the advice those in the blogger world and twitterverse have left.  I and Bacci appreciate them lots!  Keep them coming!

Operation:  Get K’s big ass back into shape began on Monday, June 16th!
 
Back that ass up!
 
I kicked off the operation by buying a pair of jeans in a size 8 rather than the size 10 jeans I currently fit into snuggly not loosely mind you.  I didn’t go straight for the True Religions or Joe’s but decided on a more pocket friendly bet with Express who I find run true to size.  The particular pair of jeans I purchased were $69.50 rather than $169.50.  That damn credit counselor taught me something!
 
Plan of Action:
 
·         Hitting up the elliptical at least 4 times a week
·         Having fun at the gym perhaps taking a class here and there
·         Gradually adding strength exercises to the mix
·         Walking more and now that I have my new Cole Haan Nike heels I have no excuse to take the stairs
·         Curbing my alcohol intake and making more calorie conscious alcohol choices
·         I have to curb the carbs.  I cannot eliminate them as I am a carbivore and very crabby without them.
·         Drinking troughs of water on a daily basis
 
What will keep my booty shaking?
 
I’m going to attempt to squeeze into the size 8 jeans I purchased every two weeks and blogging about the end result, hoping one day the blog title will be “They FIT!”.  I will then model them for you all in a pic.  Granted I will model them in a pic when they fit comfortably not the fit where I look like I have been stuffed in sausage casing.
 
The next fitting is scheduled for July 5th.
 
 

I decided to post a disclaimer before I post about the puppeh and post the requested pics which trust me I am more than willing to share!  He is handsome if I do say so myself.
 
Oh, wait if you don’t follow me on twitter (Curse you!  You better start following me on twitter) then you wouldn’t know.. I am a proud Mommy.

I have never been a girl who loved animals.  My family actually refers to me as the girl who loves animals as a joke because I don’t love all animals.  I love very few animals.  I don’t like large dogs who do not have manners.  I think fish are dumb.  I am not very fond of cats. 

The list goes on.. 
 
I wouldn’t volunteer at an animal shelter, I don’t support PETA, and I am not a vegetarian.
 
A vet is the last possible career choice I would choose right up there with teaching whining little brats their ABCs.
 
I never dreamed of having a pony as a child.  I did dream of becoming a princess, marrying a prince, and living in a castle.  We all know that has yet to happen.
 
I never asked “How much is that doggy in the window!?”
 
A puppy never graced the pages of my Christmas list.  Yes, I said pages.  I wanted a lot of stuff, what can I say!
 
Well… You can now say “Why the hell did you get a puppy you animal hating BITCH!?!”
 
I have had a few thoughts here and there about becoming a puppy mommy and more recently I actually ventured at looking at a few pups.
 
I decided I wanted a cute companion and was ready for the responsibility.  Does this sound ridiculous to you?  It probably does seeing I am TWENTY-SIX years old. 
 
You can now call me an animal hating immature bitch.
 
In reality the best time for me to get a puppy was now, seeing I am still living at home for the rest of the summer but will be moving out by September.  I have brothers and sisters to play with mister man when I am at work and to help train mister man that accidents in the house are a no-no.
 
I think that’s everything.  Wait. 

Seeing I am now officially a mommy to an adorable puppy I need to let you know what to expect:
 
I will keep to my regular randomness on my blog with a puppy post thrown in here and there.
 
I will dress up my puppy in lots of different cute outfits.  Be prepared for pictures.  Yup.. I am one of those girls.
 
I will not think puppy feces are cute anywhere in the house even on the potty pads.  They are not cute and my puppy will be potty trained ASAP.  Tips?
 
I am new at this puppy stuff therefore I know a lot more bloggers out there are puppy educated.  I will reach out in posts asking for suggestions and such.
 
I will get upset when going out and my black pants are adorned with puppy hair but I will get over it and know that is what I should learn to expect.  I will also invest in an awesome lint brush.
 
I will scream bloody murder if puppy munches on a pair of my stilettos.  I hope to teach him at a young age just how expensive my shoe collection is.  I will also padlock my bedroom closet.
 
I think that’s it..  A puppy intro to my “little man” and pictures to come!