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Witty, neurotic/psychotic,
20-something from Chicago conquering mental illness one vodka induced blackout and one blog at a time.

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I Clicked Publish

March 31, 2009

The following post has been sitting in my draft bin.  It’s a partial recap of my weekend in Lake Geneva.  I am not going to finish the blog.  There is no reason to relive the weekend or recap a weekend full of lies and deceit.  Please do not judge, as I didn’t reread this post before hitting the publish button. 

We arrived and checked into our Inn which was as quaint as a B&B with more privacy than a hotel suite. Yes, it was as fantastic as it sounds.

We didn’t have much time to try out the bed covered in luxurious linens that excite me more than linens really should excite someone because we had dinner reservations at Medusas, a Mediterranean bistro in town.

The atmosphere of Medusa’s neighboring lounge was as delicious as we found the food was later that evening. Dinner was a mixture of amazing food, wonderful conversation, and butterflies in my belly.

The night ended with a plate of Banana Foster complete with a candle for Frappe to blow out in celebration of his birthday. I obviously could not wait to mess up the luxurious linens on the King size bed that awaited us because I blew out the candle.

No worries. We messed up the sheets. We messed them up good.

We awoke Saturday morning to a chap at our cottage door, which was cleverly named “The Windsor” as all of the cottages are named after towns in England where the Inn keepers are originally from. The Inn keeper himself was delivering our breakfast which was an assortment of fresh fruit, danishes, warm croissants, cereal, yogurt, and orange juice.

Frappe was a little to eager so early in the morning and was ready to conquer the town. I retired back to bed as Frappe suited up to explore the town and I am sure small talk with all who would small talk with him.

He’s a friendly guy.

I took advantage of the Jacuzzi tub, heated towel rack, and heated floors of the bathroom. Le Heaven! I drank my orange juice out of a champagne glass and bathed in the relaxing bath salts while reading a chapter or two of American Wife.

Frappe returned back to me just as I was finishing getting ready and we decided to take a walk around the lake, hit up the shops, and eat lunch.

Everything was beautiful and perfect. I love exploring new towns full of fun general stores, candle shops, pet boutiques, and cafes.

The “morning after” was everything as perfect as the night before.

We retired back to the Inn for an “afternoon nap”. We really did nap, among a few other things.

 

Grace in Small Things: 24 of 365

1.  Sudafed

2.  Taking a good picture

3.  Unsweetened Iced Passion Tea from Starbucks

4.  A new air freshener for my car

5.  Persusing the aisles of Walgreens while waiting for pictures to print

I Dated a Con - Part 4

I’m anxious.  Anxious for this miniseries to end. 

I met him in Starbucks parking lot at 7:45 pm to claim $500.  We had agreed to meet at 8 am but he needed to finish community service before he went to court for who knows what on Monday morning.  I gave him a break and obliged. 

He tossed 5 one-hundred dollar bills into my car via the tiny crack I left in the passenger side window.  He didn’t even get out of his car.  I tossed him a receipt and we each sped off in seperate directions.  I couldn’t drive quick enough. 

Yes, we agreed on a first payment in the amount of $600.  I obliged with his offering of a first payment in the amount of $500. 

He didnt ask to talk and no more than 10 words were exchanged between us.

I text messaged him later in the evening to remind him that I want the final $350 by Friday.  He responded, “I know.”

He called me this morning.  It seems that he had court today and his probation officer or as he called him “PO” mentioned the Citizen Complaint.  I am not sure whether to believe him.  Can you blame me?  The detective I dealt with assured me the Citizen Complaint would not affect him unless I came back into the station to file a report. 

So my life is still at a halt until Friday.  I hope by the end of next weekend this mini-series will have an ending. 

I know there will not be a happy ending but all I am looking for is an end.

Grace in Small Things: 23 of 365

March 30, 2009

1.  An amazing night out with 4 women I had never met before

2.  MySpace for introducing me to one of the above mentioned women.  We had been talking online for 4-5 years and finally met last night

3.  US of Tara

4.  Water.  Yup, good ol’ H20

5.  Twitter catching on with real life friends/family

Yes, I Dated a Con - Part 3

March 28, 2009

I have remained in short contact with him in regards to when he is going to drop off the money. We have made plans to meet at a local coffee shop on Sunday at 12pm.

I have received random telephone calls from him with music in the background but immediately just hang up the phone and ignore the phone calls and the music in the background. I have received numerous “unknown” telephone calls, I am almost positive they are him. I received a string of text messages from him last night which included “I will turn my life around. I will remember you for life” “I should have been honest with you from the beginning, I didnt know I was going to fall for you.”

I cry.

It hurts but I am proud of myself. I am proud that I put my “big girl” panties on.

My nights of insomnia filled with my need to analyze the situation are not disappearing. I question everything that occurred in the 2 months we dated from his “love” for me to if he really did go to the dentist as he said he did.

I feel crazy.

The whirlwind of emotions that I feel are strong but I know they will fade. I am confident they will and until then I have to ride them out.

I feel in limbo. I need closure. I need a bank account that doesn’t remind me of the deceit.

Tomorrow is Sunday and hopefully the last scene of this nightmare.

Remember my weekend in Lake Geneva? Well, one of the horrendous events that happened was Frappe pretty much abandoning me there on Sunday night. He took a taxi back home. In short, he led me to believe that I passed out and locked him out of the suite. I did pass out but I think it was all a coy plan of his. It’s difficult to explain and even more difficult to understand but it now makes sense. He couldn’t be out of state for longer than 2 days due to his probation/parole whatever it may have been therefore instead of being upfront with me he staged this big “scheme”.

This was the first red flag and the last red flag before things would end. Who would have thought?

So… who wants the rights to my memoir?

Spring is in the air…

Well maybe not in Chicago where SNOW is in the weather forecast but I can feel it in my bones.  I started a little Spring cleaning myself yesterday and realized all of my “to read” books.  I then fell upon this little challenge of sorts on Heidi’s blog and said “Just what I need!”

Books I plan on reading and/or finishing this Spring:

American Wife by Curtis Sittenfeld

The Pact by Jodi Picoult

Sundays at Tiffany’s by James Patterson

There’s No Place Like Here by Cecelia Ahern

Change We Can Believe In by Barack Obama

Have you read any of the above?  Whats on your “to read” list?

No, I’m Serious I Dated a Con - Part 2

March 27, 2009

 I am writing this blog in spurts. It’s not to keep you thriving off the drama that is my life but rather because I cannot compute the whole situation in one sitting.  It brings tears to my eyes and puts my need to analyze in overdrive. You can read more about the nightmare here and here.

The officer must have sensed that this was the last option I would want to take and offered to file a “Citizen Complaint” and mediate the situation.

This was the route I decided to take. As much of a crook he is I didn’t and still do not want to put him behind bars. I want to scare him and show him that he cannot and will not get away with the shit he pulled but I just cannot put him behind bars.

The officer asked me to call him and then hand off the phone to him. I did. The conversation went as follows:

“Hi, its K. I am at the police department and the officer wants to talk to you.”

“Ok, that’s fine.”

“This is Officer **** from **** Police Department. I have your exgirlfriend here who says you used her debit card without her authorization. Shut Up, let me talk. Alright, I understand you say she allowed you to use it but I am looking at your background and a judge would think otherwise. If she files the report there will be a warrant out for your arrest and you will be looking at some major time as these are felonies you committed. She is willing to work things out with you in the form of a Citizen Complaint. I will let her to talk to you now”

I trembled and fumbled my words as I told him that he had until this Sunday to reimburse me $600 the amount which will bring my checking account (I hope) back out of the negatives and he has until the following Friday to reimburse me the $200 which was the amount of cash I had in the checking account before he withdrew the cash.

In summary. I am probably losing money but I do not care. I want my checking account out of the negative and this criminal out of my life. I emailed him as he had requested outlining the terms of the agreement. I ended the email with the following, “I hope you realize its not too late to turn your life around. You have good qualities and you need to look within.”

So were there any red flags? 

To Be Continued..

*Other possible title for this series of posts:  “Who Steals from the Unemployed, Seriously?”

I Dated a Con - Part 1

A BIG thanks for the overwhelming amount of support on my last post.

The officer’s jaw dropped as the computer screen answered his question, “Let’s see what this guy is all about.” Tears flooded my eyes and my sister glared behind the officer at the computer screen in shock.

What is the man I “loved” about?

He has been charged with 2 counts of fleeing law enforcement and 5 counts of larceny/theft he has been CONVICTED of 3 counts of larceny, “done time”, and was last arrested in October of 2008.

I cannot put into thoughts let alone words the feelings that washed over me and continue to violate me in waves.

I dated a con-man. Let’s say that together… I dated a con-man. I fell in love with a con-man.

Nope, it still isn’t clicking.

My fear of the police department looking at me like a psycho exgirlfriend was a fear of the past. I am obviously the victim of someone who maliciously stole from me. The debit card never slipped out of my sequined clutch voluntarily, it was taken without my knowledge; stolen and used fraudulently.

The officer explained that the police report, if filed, would be for 1 count of theft and 3 counts of fraud and a warrant would be issued for his arrest. He would do time, a lot of time, due to his prior record and probable violation of probation/parole whatever you call it.

Call me crazy but the thought of me sending anyone to jail brings tears to my eyes even if it is someone who has violated me in the matter as he did.

To Be Continued…

Grace in Small Things: 22 of 365

March 26, 2009

1.  Twitter

2.  A Chicago breeze,  they are rare but nice.

3.  My Blackberry Curve

4.  Bacci’s new “Prince” tank and “Kennel One” toy designed after a Kettle One bottle

5.  My toenails painted a spring shade of PINK!

If it seems to good to be true,

March 24, 2009

it probably is.

It is a fact, I feel like the most moronic naive individual on the face of the planet right now.

I find it both sickening and amazing that someone who was just talking “future” with me last night had both lied and stole from me earlier in the day. People shouldn’t lie and steal on Sundays let alone any other day of the week and from someone they supposedly “love”. Let’s throw that word around loosely shall we? It seems to be the norm nowadays.

What am I getting at?

After a drunken amazing night celebrating one of my bestest birthdays on Saturday I had “left” my debit card and Stila powder compact on the floorboard of Frappe’s car.

I sometimes wonder now if I truly did drop my compact and debit card in his car. It might be the “crazy” talking but unfortunately I cannot ignore the “crazy” when it comes to Frappe.

I was relieved when he told me he was in possession of both of them. I shouldn’t have been. My debit card was probably safer soaked in vodka on the bottom of the dance floor of a popular Chicago nightclub.

I logged onto my bank account via the secure online internet portal and to my amazement there were 4 withdrawal that I did not and would not have authorized. There was a debit purchase at Burger King for $4 odd dollars, 2 ATM withdrawals from a town he neighbors totaling $408, and 1 ATM withdrawal from a different town he neighbors totaling $104. My account balance also glared red and negative, not just a couple dollars negative but the upper 200’s negative.

I felt sick. I called Frappe screaming and his words exactly, “I didn’t see anything the matter with it, I didn’t have anymore cash on me and the bank was closed yesterday. I figured I would just deposit the money back into your account today.”

What? Youmotherfuckingassholelyingsonofabitch!

Being the nice person that I am, I gave him a chance to redeem himself. He told me that he deposited $525 into my bank account via the drive-up teller.

In the meantime, I called my bank to cancel the debit card. The representative notified me that I could not dispute the charges until they actually posted to my account.

It is now almost 9 pm and there has not been a deposit made into my account. Yes, I am serious.

Where does this leave me? I am heartbroken, livid, and broke. I gave him a chance to redeem himself and he lied leaving me with no other option but to file police reports in the towns the transactions occurred.

I didn’t want to write this post, to face reality. I secretly hoped this was a nightmare and he would redeem himself and at least have an answer for his behavior. After writing this post, its concrete. I would have to be crazy to give him a 2nd chance and even crazier to not press charges. Right?

Yes, right. I have only told my Mom and my twitter/blog/IRL pal. I don’t plan on telling anyone right now because its all too raw and I need to feel stronger and more secure with the fact that what happened does not make me the idiot.

As I washed away the disappointment in an evening shower I felt like giving up on blogging. I felt and still feel that my “story” is just too much for myself let alone others. Who really wants to read this life of constant disappointment? What do I bring to others lives? I then thought about it. If I found this blog post while googling “my boyfriend stole from me” then I would probably feel less alone and less naive.

Unfortunately, it happens. I do not censor my life and that’s probably 75% of the reason almost none of you will ever meet me. I hide behind this blog but I hide for a cause.

I will not discontinue blogging for the above reasons and also because the peanut butter in the jar is disappearing at a fast pace and I can probably only scrape together enough jelly to make 1 more PB&J sandwich.

Yup. I wont discontinue blogging because I will eat and/or medicate myself to death.

So blog readers I need your advice. Have you heard of someone in this particular circumstance? Have you been in this particular situation? Did they/you go to the police? Will the police just look at me like a “crazy” ex-girlfriend?