the end.

I didnt register or walk but wanted to take out the time to speak highly of those who did.

They walked down Chicago’s lakefront on Saturday night beginning at Soldier Field.  They walked for a purpose…

My cousins Girl Scout troops made flashlight pins for some of the participants and setup a cheering section for a couple of hours at the beginning of the walk.

It’s refreshing to see that perhaps suicide can be prevented by involing younger children in experiences such as this walk.

I believe the answer to prevention of anything is EDUCATING!

I plan to make it a PRIORITY to participate in the walk next year and look forward to many more walks, fundraisers, and campaigns that destigmatize mental illness and prevent suicide.

Here are a couple of stories I found around the web.

I am anxious.  I had first felt it was the full bottle of Red Line I consumed on an empty stomach, which in fact it probably was, but I am also anxious as my Mom, Stepdad, Babi Sister, and Babi Brother are indeed moving out tomorrow and in turn they will be leaving me.

I know I am not helpless.

The sweet in the bittersweet?

Finally, life can become more settled rather than boxed up and in limbo.  We can all move on to better and bigger chapters of our lives.

The bitter in the bittersweet?

Change.  Change scares me and they always have.  Change is good.  Life without change is boring.  All true but easier said than to believe.

Family is everything to me.  I fear that now with me living separately from my family and both younger brothers living separately, things will change or liquidate.  The conversations we once had in person will become telephone calls and the telephone calls will soon become emails and the emails will soon become Facebook messasges.

As the door closes and I find myself in a much emptier house to sleep in, I must remember that the change is what I make of it.  Having a close knit family takes work and love.  I am not losing anyone but rather creating more challenging relationships with them.

1.  Making someone smile

2.  A nice Italian dinner with my Mom

3.  Bacci’s growl

4.  My new kitchen stuff

5.  PASTA

so there is this boy and he kinda has my heart.  He keeps it in a duffel bag underneath his bed.

Seriously.

Yes. I am speaking of the prospect.  Have I mentioned he reads this blog?  Say hello!  He left a comment it made my belly smile and my eyes twinkle.

God I make myself sick.

I haven’t even met him yet and am this far in.  I know.  Possibly because we talk for over 3 hours a day.  It is real.

We will be meeting the 3rd week of July. I hope all of my life’s drama will be a distant memory.

PS I am usally afraid of blogging too soon but I really think this little shindig we have going will beat many odds.

PPS  The cute thing is he has no flipping clue what a “reader” is and will visit this site religiously hoping for new material

How should I say this? Where should I begin?

My name is K and I am no longer a phone sex virgin.

How did that sound?

Tell me its okay.  Tell me everyone does it.  Tell me you have.  Tell me I wont get pregnant.

Lets just hope that the prospect is just as attentive as he is descriptive.  Swooooooon!

Note:  I was going to post this picture instead of the above but then I thought about it and I had phone sex last night which means I am uber sexy, mature, and confident. Right?  This is not a time for jokes!

Is it FLOW RIDA or FLOW RIDER?

I have been all over the place as of late.  I had high expectations for myself that I felt would start the moment my plane landed at Ohare from my fanfuckingtastic trip to Vegas.  I had plans to catch up on my reader, add the numerous awesome people I had met to my reader, get a job, paint the garage, paint my bedroom, buy new furniture, rekindle friendships with a couple of friends… Alright, I am going to stop now because I haven’t really accomplished much of anything.  My life has been up in the air.  Perhaps this is why I did not want to leave Vegas and felt that we had a bond.  Vegas is pretty much “up in the air”.  We got along well.

Reality Shmality.  Who needs it?  Perhaps I need it.

I will be held responsible for my living expenses and bills before the end of the summer.   Unlike past plans I had which entailed leaving the nest, the nest will be leaving me.  It’s a confusing little situation but my Mom, Stepdad, 9 yo Brother, and 15 yo Sister are moving and leaving me in charge of myself and bills such as electric, gas, and cable.  The nerve huh?

Say it, “huh?”

Ya, I don’t expect you to get it right now because I told you a blip of the story.  I can’t be bothered getting into the deets as they are dull and boring.  All you have to know is I will be sharing this here house with my Uncles, one being drunk and the other disabled.

Now that we all understand my living situation maybe next entry will be dedicated to the prospect I mentioned in my previous post.

I stare at this space with empty thoughts…

My life is up in the air at the moment.  I am currently sleeping on solely my mattress placed on my bedroom floor. Why?  I need a new bedroom set.  I decided to play “Handy fucking Andy” a couple of weeks ago and paint my room and pull out the carpet.  Ya… I’m not very handy and growing bored of my lack of furniture and decor.

I meet with a recruiter on Monday.  Here is hoping Chicago weather works with me and I dont have to make the trek downtown in the rain, 90 degree heat and humidity, or even snow by the way things are going.  I am not pleased with you Chicago weather.

I miss Vegas.  I miss not being frowned upon when drinking before noon.  I miss my new friends.  I miss the hotel sheets. I miss the lights.  I miss being carefree.

I’m sexually deprived.  I haven’t had GOOD sex in years. I need some.  I need some bad.  The thing is … I have a prospect.  A prospect who would probably be amazing in bed.

I leave you on that note…

1.  New friendships

2.  My babi brother’s enthusiasm for baseball

3.  Sugar Free Amp

4.  Getting shit done!!

5.  Bacci’s new sunglasses

Vegas was amazing and eye opening.  Yes. Vegas, the land of strippers, prostitutes, and booze opened my eyes and not my legs.

It was my 3rd trip to Vegas and definitely the most memorable.  I’m a little at loss for words… cantcha tell?

I realized a few things in Vegas.  I realized it was okay to be me, my nose will burn in the Vegas sun no matter how tan I am, there are bloggers out there that are in one word “amazing”, and it kicks ass to be out of my usual realm.

So…. I’m going to leave it at that.  I know what you are saying… lame but the thing is I don’t think any words would give the weekend spent with strangers who felt like BFFs any justice.

You had to be there.