ask away~!
Grace is Small Things: 40 of 365
1. Armani shoveling the snow off and warming my car before work this morning.
2. Tortellini Soup made with love from MOM!
3. Shark Tank
4. Getting back into the blog of things
5. Hearing someone who has tried and put her whole heart into conceiving is PREGNANT!
PREGNANCY, BIRTH CONTROL, INFERTILITY
OH MY!
I’m late. This occurs quite a bit but I had a bit of a snafu with the pill earlier this month which makes “I’m ‘late” much worse than the usual “I’m late”. Get me? Its more of a “holy shit… I’m late. I really don’t want to push anything out of my vag in 9 months.” My younger brothers and sisters are usually a reminder to take my birth control pill religiously daily at the same time.
Side Note: I hate the pill. I gained the 10 lbs. It makes me an even more volatile bitch. Sex drive? Pfft.. Let’s not even go there. I hate all things related to taking the pill with the exception of its reliability rate when taken CORRECTLY! I wish more than anything I could discontinue the pill without worrying about getting Preggo, but its really not an option. The pill is the most reliable option for me. Who is going to invent the on/off switch to a woman’s ovaries? Anyhoots… go read this post which sparked me to blog about my aggravations with the tiny little white pill many take daily.
As of lately I feel as if I have been bombarded with all things “baby” or lack there of. It freaks me out. Everything is a sign to me; flipping the channel to “Little People Adopt” to “16 and Pregnant” to blogs about infertility or blogs about 1st time pregnancy. It doesn’t help that Armani’s sister is expecting her first child in April and the baby shower is next weekend. One thing I have always known is I love shopping for baby clothes. Sigh… matching booties, socks, mittens, and hats!
All things pregnancy freak for more reasons than one. I never thought I was maternal in nature. Crying babies, children running around stores, and awkward teenagers or even worse rebellious teenagers scare the living shit out of me. I’m the oldest of 6. This could be the reason why. I feel I co-parent(ed) my 15 year old sister and crying babies, dirty diapers, and temper tantrums are 2nd nature to me. Having a baby? I just have recently came to the terms that I have to take care of myself, how am I supposed to care for another person? I work for Jelly Beans. I cannot afford diapers, formula, and baby wipes! I never thought I wanted a child of my own.
This has changed since growing up quite a bit this past year and meeting Armani. I know I want to have a child, preferably at the age of 34 not 28. The fertility blogs make me wonder if I willl ever be able to conceive and if my plan of doing so at 34-35 will fail miserably and leave me too old and infertile.
I have always been pro-choice and in my mind if I was to have an unplanned pregnancy I would abort the pregnancy.
The scary part?
Armani is not pro-choice and I am unsure if I feel the same way as I did before I “grew” up. I am still pro-choice but I do not think that would be an option for me right now. I’m 28 years old. There are women out there who are struggling with infertility. The excuse of a pregnancy being unplanned is no longer valid.
LETS NOT GET JUDGY JUDGE JUDGY!
In conclusion, the scary part about the missing period in question is the fact that I have grown up and abortion is no longer an option.
Filed under: Armani, afterhours therapy, randomosity, sex by K
6 Comments
Link directly to this entry
working girl!
I began my new job today. Actually, I am currently “working”. It is worse than I thought. It hardens me, breaks me down, and has me question my self-worth. Can you imagine that? Perhaps I didnt have any self-worth to begin with and just an exuberant amount of pride. Considering…
I’m not a stripper. I’m not selling my vag. I’m not stealing deodorant and body wash from Walgreens to sell at the flea market.
I’m simply working an entry level office assistant position making approximately $25 (if…lets hope) more a week than I did collecting unemployment. The kicker? I don’t even receive medical benefits and I am working for a healtchare agency. HEALTHCARE.
Do I sound pretentious? Yup. Am I judgmental? Sure as fuck.
Let me describe the woman who is training me or attempting to train me, as she doesn’t do a very good job at it. She is too busy receiving personal cell phone calls from her Pink Motorola that blares an unknown Rhianna ring-tone.
Let me throw some educated guesses out there.
She is a 20-something mother. I’m guessing single mother. I do not see a ring but I do see a small picture of a child who looks about 6 years old hanging on the bulletin board above her desk. She scrunches her hair in the morning probably with a 2010 version of Aqua Net immediately after washing it with VO5 - ala wet Poodle. She stuffs herself in clothes that are both too small and appropriate for a 16 year old getting ready to hang out at the mall. She mentioned she has court tomorrow and I am guessing its for a domestic violence case or child support.
Lets talk about the lack of…
I share an office with a woman who hasn’t tried to welcome me what-so-ever. I kept a warm smile, commented on the temperature, etc. I received NOTHING in return. There is no interoffice email. There is no electronic time clock, its pen to paper! I kind of feel like how I think the outsourced help in India feel.
It’s that bad.
Perhaps this little ol’ attitude of mine is why I do not have the job of my dreams.
Let me step off my pink glittery soapbox because it is approaching 5 pm and everyone is hustling to get out of here. This worries me.
 |