If you follow me on twitter then you know I was involved in a car accident on Saturday.
No… I was not reading blog posts while driving.
Have I mentioned I am not that great of a driver? Have I mentioned I have had my fair share of traffic violations?
I was all gussied up to meet Em for dinner and a night on the town when I attempted to avoid a rear-end collision. I didn’t rear-end the car, I instead sideswiped the car and rear-ended the car in front of the car I sideswiped.
SMOOTH like vanilla ice cream, you don’t have to tell me!
I do things well…
It was a good thing I looked like a high-priced hooker in my skinny jeans, tube top, and 4 inch stilettos.
The catty bitches I hit loved it.
I apologized and received a snide remark of “I bet you are” by both parties. They powwowed together leaving me to sit in my damaged SUV waiting for the police to arrive.
I then overhear them talking about how drivers like me give teenage drivers a bad rap. Oh really.. I am TWENTY FUCKING SIX years old.
While waiting; I reapplied my lip gloss, had a panic attack, and called my Mom like the big baby I am.
The police arrived. I had nothing to say, I let the catty bitches who treated me as if I murdered their first born children do all the talking. They spoke Ebonics and some type of broken English.
Whatevs…
My Mom arrived quickly and reassured me that these things happened and the women involved were bitter bitches.
She then told me I was grounded and needed to learn how to drive.
Thanks Mom! She also asked one of the catty bitches if she worked at Long John Silver because she was sporting a LJS uniform. She replied, “Yup.. I was coming home from a long days work” My Mom replied back “I can’t imagine a long days work battering fish.”
I love you Mommy.
One of the bitches I hit had her whole posse meet her at the scene of the accident like she was carjacked. Obnoxious much?
The situation got better when a member of her posse hit on me.
Who does that?!
In the end, I received 2 tickets and sat home on Saturday night feeling sorry for myself.
I eventually fell asleep after taking a few hundred Ativan and watching a hundred episodes of Animal Police.
My car is not drivable. I am renting a car at a ridiculous rate because I didn’t sign up for car rental insurance. I am hoping my car will either be fixed or considered totaled ASAP!
These things happen but why does it seem like the majority happen to me?!?
Needed: Driver’s Ed
August 28, 2008
blaez says:
there are countless accidents we avoid on the way to and from work constantly because of catty bitches like the ones mentioned here who do not pay attention while driving.
example: the bitch who pulled into the lane i was merging into and slammed on her brakes. *WE* had our turn signal on and were trying to get from behind her because she kept putting ON her breaks and going way too slow… I looked over while cussing her out and sure enough: bitch is on her blackberry texting.
August 28th, 2008 at 3:15 am
Jamie says:
I’m sorry. That really sucks. I hope they fix it quickly!
August 28th, 2008 at 2:00 pm
deutlich says:
I’m sorry you had to go through all that — but I have to admit, I’m not sure how nice I’d be if I were hit by another car..
Actually, I’m kinda positive I’d turn into a catty bitch myself.
August 28th, 2008 at 3:04 pm
cdp says:
I love you, I really do; but I am just still laughing about you giving teenage drivers a bad rap. Classic.
August 28th, 2008 at 3:06 pm
the ex says:
Dude, I’m glad you’re okay! Thinking of you.
August 28th, 2008 at 7:16 pm
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