It’s a never-ending drama series regarding myself and L, my brothers gf of 11 years.
I don’t know how to deal.
I once again went to her to discuss how I was feeling in regards to her remaining or even beginning a friendship with my Ex Best Friend of 15+ years. They were never FRIENDS before I ended my friendship with my Ex Best Friend. There were times I had to tell Ex Best Friend to layoff talking shit to L because she knew she could get away with it. On her 25th birthday she questioned if L stole the money for the bar tab.
I ended my friendship with the Ex Best Friend over 2 years ago. It wasn’t healthy. She had hurt me both physically and emotionally in the past. I wasn’t innocent but the animosity we had for each other was too much to bear. We were like sisters. My Dad even took temporary custody of her for a year when we were in high school so she could go to my high school and live with us.
The end of the friendship hurt me. It still kills me to this day.
What hurts the most? My brother gf who I have been GOOD GOOD, even BEST friends with for many many years and thought of her as my little sister deciding to remain in contact with this girl against my wishes. I introduced her to designer jeans, brought her to her first club, and never spoke ill of her.
Well… since the breakup with my EX Best Friend she has continued her “friendship” with her. The funny thing is they NEVER hung out or bonded before I ended things with my Ex Best Friend.
Tears. I have spoken to her numerous times asking her to respect me and only remain an acquaintance with the girl. I told her it was not healthy for me to remain in contact with her and I could never attend something that she was also attending. It would be a disaster. On L’s past birthday I received a text inviting me to her birthday with the following wording “My Birthday is at blah blah blah. You are invited but M is going to be there and if you don’t like it then you don’t have to come”. This was when I was going through all of the shit with Frappe. I was devastated.
We didn’t speak for the 7 months and started talking again in early December. She promised she would put our friendship first and only be of an aquaintence to the Ex Best Friend.
Facebook slaps me in the face. My manipulative Ex Best Friend begins friending my family and then I hear of things from my family members who added her our of curiosity that I didn’t want to hear. L chit-chatting about how she could not wait to have tacos, pictures of her at my Ex Best Friend’s birthday, etc.
It hurts. It kills.
I confronted her yesterday. I cried. She laughed. She blamed me for ruining any friendship she has had in the past that has failed. She pretty much told me “oh well”.
I’m lost. I see this girl on a daily basis. My brother lives with me. She will be my SIL in a few years.
This is by far worse than any breakup I have endured.
Advice? Words to get through this?
blaez says:
oh wow sweety. i have no idea. its so tangled and messy… my first thought would be to end all contact with both of them but since she’s your brother’s fiance and he lives with you, that’s hard… that is a really tough line. asking him to have her never come over would ruin the relationship between the two of you…
i don’t understand why she even wants to be friends with someone who she never knew anyways…
i wish i could be more help but i’m here as a venting outlet anytime you need it.
January 18th, 2010 at 4:06 am
Allie says:
I am so sorry your going though this. It’s so hard to deal with all the fallout from getting out of a toxic friendship. Eventually, everyone will see your ex friend for who she is, but I know how difficult it is to see something like that when no one else seems to.
January 18th, 2010 at 3:03 pm
The Modern Gal says:
I hate to say this, but L will probably have to come to the decision herself to stop being friends with your ex-friend. L probably doesn’t like being told not to be friends with someone any more than anyone else. If she’s smart, she will get there at some point. Just give her time.
January 21st, 2010 at 1:32 am